As Robbie Williams once said "let me entertain you".
We are students, and as students we have nothing to do on those looming evenings, but entertain ourselves in stupid and ridiculous ways for at least four hours, before going to bed as the bin men arrive and rolling to uni tired and looking slightly haggard, with bags big enough to catch muffins, hanging from your eyes.
Those muffin bags, those dear old friends of ours, are acquired through such antics:
1- Ceiling feet. Who will be the first to get both feet on the kitchen ceiling in our flat. Who will be the first? Who will go down in halls history as the ONE who managed a feat no man has ever managed, who is the bravest of the brave, the most fearless of them all, the one, the only, the great king of Cranbourne? Attempts included: handstands, upside down shoulder lifts, climbing on fridges/kitchen sides/cupboards. The winner: headstand on top of the oven with a sofa cushion to protect ones head. Genius.
2- Using the Sugar Puffs cereal box to create eyes, and taking stupid pictures of them to post on Facebook. Sounds boring, but if a baby can be entertained by a cereal box, then so can we, us champions of stupidity!
3- Another cereal box game: placing the empty box on the floor and picking it up with your teeth without falling over, kneeling or placing hands on floor. Each level sees the box being destroyed, as it gets smaller, the game gets more intense! Buy your cereal box now on www.cerealboxgame.idiot.com (smallprint: this game includes small parts and should not be attempted by anyone younger than 18, sober, not flexible or fat)
4- Catch the ball. Simple, yet very effective when new hall-way rules are instilled. Our hall is quite small, so if your lanky enough your feet can touch both sides: aim of the game, don't move your feet, but catch the ball, otherwise picking it up is gunna be a tricky move. This isn't one of our finer games, but when your a bottle of wine in and listening to cheesy pop its brilliant. Score!!
5- Bounce the coin into the glass. Contribute some of your (alcoholic) beverage before hand and nominate. Coin goes in, poor sucker has to drink. If not, the game goes on. Results in scandalously dirty pints, pre party vomiting and oh yeah, extreme drunkenness.
There are many more, but these were the few that tickled the pickle. Enjoy.
Showing posts with label Scandalous. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scandalous. Show all posts
Monday, 28 February 2011
Sunday, 27 February 2011
Gypsy Scandal Shocker
Standing outside in the crisp evening air, the sun slowly setting across the golden sandy beach in the distance, I stared at the huge pile of vomit on the ground.
That's right, my evening, was ruined, my sanity was ruined...here is why...
Each weekend I work ridiculous hours to make some dolla for my weekly Primark fix. Each time I work I happen to stumble across a drama or scandal. Typical situation in my life. Today, was no exception to that rule.
Ever watched Big Fat Gypsy Weddings?
Click here to sneak a peek. Essential equipment required for viewing: a sense of humour, a pillow to cringe in to and a glass of water to cure your side splitting laughter.
Ya know, with the enormous dresses, strange traditions and awful Irish sounding accents. Yeah, that one (feel free to cringe your way into the back of your armrest in sheer anguish at the awful-ness that IS that program. Confession: I do love it though, so dramatic). Ever tried serving them at the dinner table... that's right boys and girls, tonight my shift was about to get real ugly.
3 women, 5 kids, 1 very drunk teenager.
8 slices of pizza, 2 pastas, 1 Magners IRISH cider.
1 lovely evening, 1 beautiful sunset, 2 working waitresses, 1 table sitting in front of the window over looking the beauty that was this evening, 1 very drunk woman, throwing her guts up across the pavement and ruining everything.
Drunk gypsy lady threw up. Oh no. What a calamity. Never ever heard of that happening before! Hang on, and her son pissed all over it, in the street. In front of the restaurant. Where people were eating?!!
I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but *insert exclamatory swear phrase starting in what, ending in uck*?
Please, please locate a toilet, or in fact, just don't try and wangle your way into normal civilisation.
They say on the show they want people to accept them for what they are, to understand their culture and to respect that they are no different from us. They say that us 'normal' non-travelling people just miscompute their ways, read them wrongly and therefore judge them based on stereotypical prejudice. I'm sorry, but no. Cut the crap please gyp-famz, we ain't taking none of that. To respect your culture, first of all you need to have one. To not be judged by society, you need to adhere to the norms and values set by modern day society (within reason obviously). To not be classed as gypo's, gypsies, filth/scum of planet earth and a shrivelling kind of rat then you need to actually earn it. Prove us 'normals' wrong. Prove it, or else find yourself shrinking into the distance, keys to your 9metre caravan in tow.
Scandalous.
That's right, my evening, was ruined, my sanity was ruined...here is why...
Each weekend I work ridiculous hours to make some dolla for my weekly Primark fix. Each time I work I happen to stumble across a drama or scandal. Typical situation in my life. Today, was no exception to that rule.
Ever watched Big Fat Gypsy Weddings?
Click here to sneak a peek. Essential equipment required for viewing: a sense of humour, a pillow to cringe in to and a glass of water to cure your side splitting laughter.
Ya know, with the enormous dresses, strange traditions and awful Irish sounding accents. Yeah, that one (feel free to cringe your way into the back of your armrest in sheer anguish at the awful-ness that IS that program. Confession: I do love it though, so dramatic). Ever tried serving them at the dinner table... that's right boys and girls, tonight my shift was about to get real ugly.
3 women, 5 kids, 1 very drunk teenager.
8 slices of pizza, 2 pastas, 1 Magners IRISH cider.
1 lovely evening, 1 beautiful sunset, 2 working waitresses, 1 table sitting in front of the window over looking the beauty that was this evening, 1 very drunk woman, throwing her guts up across the pavement and ruining everything.
Drunk gypsy lady threw up. Oh no. What a calamity. Never ever heard of that happening before! Hang on, and her son pissed all over it, in the street. In front of the restaurant. Where people were eating?!!
I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but *insert exclamatory swear phrase starting in what, ending in uck*?
Please, please locate a toilet, or in fact, just don't try and wangle your way into normal civilisation.
They say on the show they want people to accept them for what they are, to understand their culture and to respect that they are no different from us. They say that us 'normal' non-travelling people just miscompute their ways, read them wrongly and therefore judge them based on stereotypical prejudice. I'm sorry, but no. Cut the crap please gyp-famz, we ain't taking none of that. To respect your culture, first of all you need to have one. To not be judged by society, you need to adhere to the norms and values set by modern day society (within reason obviously). To not be classed as gypo's, gypsies, filth/scum of planet earth and a shrivelling kind of rat then you need to actually earn it. Prove us 'normals' wrong. Prove it, or else find yourself shrinking into the distance, keys to your 9metre caravan in tow.
Scandalous.
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