Okay, something just happened.
Every night, I am the last one in my house to go to bed, the last one downstairs, the last one awake. And, every night, and I mean every night, I go upstairs, in the pitch black, to clean my teeth. After cleaning my teeth, I go to bed. This is always my routine, EVERY night.
But I just had a strange realisation. Every night, without fail, just after cleaning my teeth I get this feeling of panic wash over me, and never really understood it before. Every night I use my phone as a torch to light the (short) hallway as I walk to my room. I panic. I always, well, almost always, do a weird kinda half run, half flailing panic down the hallway into my room, my eyes madly staring in to the complete darkened abyss in front of me searching for something that was never there before.
I don't feel secure until my bedroom door is shut firmly behind me and the lights flood my room with light once more.
I'm afraid of the dark.
There, I said it, I confessed.
It's only tonight that I have actually realised, this is nothing new. I have always been afraid of the dark. Only now I can admit it. I don't even care... I know how childish it is, and how silly. But I just can't help but panic every time the room disappears in front of me.
Maybe, just maybe, (this is me going all phycological now) it's a fear from my childhood, which represents a fear of the unknown in my newly adult life? Haha, what a load of crap... though, it is probably true.
So there. So there boogie monster, I confessed, grown ups can be scared of the dark!