Take my hand, let me guide you through the mish mash of the life of an almost twenty-teen, and show you what really runs through the head of a female with the 24/7 fever.

Sunday, 24 July 2011

3 Weeks

3 Weeks.

That is all I have left.

Nooooo no not that dramatic, I'm not terminally ill, I don't have a deadline.

In 3 weeks, I go on holiday. I have 3 weeks to loose 9 pounds, that's 3 pounds a week. I have 3 weeks to save £300. That's a hundred pounds a week. I have 3 weeks to learn an entire Media Law book inside out. That's 5 chapters a week, that's almost a whole chapter a day.

I never usually set myself targets. I never normally have goals or expectations of myself. But, lately, every time I look in the mirror I get really frickin mad knowing that I could have saved loads of money, but instead I spent it on shoes that I didn't need, give me blisters and end up in the bottom of my wardrobe collecting dust until my little sister finds them. I can't help but be annoyed at myself every time I look in the mirror that I put on so SO much weight at Uni, and I can't help be annoyed that I'm struggling to shift it. I can't come to terms with the fact that I don't feel good about how I look any more. I can't come  to terms with the fact that if I fail this exam, I, and I alone, am to blame, and will be deemed a failure. I'll have to sit in classes with 1st years and re-take a years worth of hard work.

I'm terrified that all these things I want to happen, never will. And that in 3 weeks time when I jet off on holiday, I won't be able to relax and unwind.

Terrified of 3 weeks time, when I should be excited? Strange...

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